Thursday, February 02, 2006

You Know You Are from Arizona When.....

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

Flood insurance isnt even an option.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.

You get second degree burns from opening the car door.

Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.

You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.

Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.

You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.

No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River

You can look around a restaurant and realize you are the only non-Native American there (especially in Flagstaff).

there is plenty of sun, plenty of heat, but no beaches.

You can pronounce"Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Moenkopi", "Wupatki" and "Cholla"

You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"

You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!

You hear people say "but it's a DRY heat!", and then want to punch them.

You buy salsa and sunscreen by the gallon.

Cactus no longer seem exotic.

Your Christmas decorations include sand and 100 paper bags.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You can be driving 85mph in a 65 mph zone on Loop 101 and still get passed by someone going 15 mph faster than you.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

Your lawn consists of gravel painted green (especially in Sun City).

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."

You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

You think driving with the windows down in the summer is for dare devils.

Most homes have more firearms than people.

Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state.

1 comment:

SVN, prn said...

I was born in Tucson but my mom HATED Arizona so they moved back to Cally before I even turned one years old. I have never been back. I should visit sometime. I go love to golf. I also loved these jokes, Very funny.

Also a few posts back you mentioned Del Webb's Sun City, we have two close to where I live; one in Roseville, CA and one in Lincoln, CA. They are sureal places. But the old folks sure do seem to love it there.